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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Love Your Wife and Family

A great message as many of us start up teaching and coaching again.

Let's remember to keep our priorities in order.
Dear Warriors!

Sunday, July 10th was my wedding anniversary with my beloved wife of 18 years, Krista.  

Unfortunately, I only celebrated my wedding anniversary with Krista until 12:00 noon that day.  I took two wrestlers to Ohio State University for a wrestling camp through Thursday and I stayed with them there at OSU. For better or worse, Krista is used to sharing me with others, including on important dates in our lives.  When you are a full time coach(or even if you claim to only be an assistant or part time coach), coaching has a tendency to take over your life.

I always thought, why does it bother her so much?  I am not out drinking or staying out late or causing trouble.  I'm not spending money we don't have.  In fact, I'm helping young people be better people.  I'm doing heroic deeds, saving lives, being a "dad" to so many kids.  Building a program takes time, and I was always taught, "If you are going to do something, make sure you do it well."  I'm doing the mission God wants me to accomplish.

I missed the point for so long.  Many, many women are neglected.  They were neglected when they were young by too busy dads(please read Fifth Quarter by Jennifer Allen, daughter of legendary coach George Allen), yelled at to work and stay out of trouble by too busy moms, used and abused by immature boyfriends and NOW their stud husband would rather spend his time with high schoolers instead of the women of their dreams.  Of course wives are hostile...and us dummies can't figure out why.

By the grace of God, I'm starting to figure it out.  I'm a hypocrite if I'm teaching "manhood" but I'm too busy to take a vacation with my family.  Or if I'm too busy to do the dishes and help clean the house. Or if I won't spend money on my family but will spend it to help out the program. Or if I won't be considerate enough to sit down and watch one of her favorite movies with her. And don't even get started with helping out with your own kids.  Fatherhood is another thing a wife/mother loves her husband to do.  You see we have all this strength but we aren't using for our wife and family.  It's like they are there but we don't even care they are there.  The time and effort we put into them would earn a 0-10 football season even though we have the potential to be State Champs!  Talk about wasted talent.

Also by the grace of God, I'm starting to figure out the better man I am at home, the better coach I am.  My wife loves me, she respects me, she sees that I have so much love for her AND I still have the time and energy for my mission as a coach. This awes a woman, the strength to be everything to everybody. She wants strong young people to be trained too....just not at her expense.  My #1 assistant is Kristaj, without a doubt.  She gives me confidence, she helps me think, she supports me emotionally behind the scenes, she builds me up when I need it and she tears me down(charitably!) when I need it.  I need her....I need her for so many things including coaching wrestling.

We have a crisis in our country right now...the breakdown of the family.  You know it and I know it.  I'm working to build strong young men that can become strong husbands and fathers.  We all are. But are you destroying a family in the process..your own?  That's the number one priority, after all.  If you remember you too made a vow, maybe not 18 years ago on July 10th but you have or you will. Be the best teacher/coach you can be and teach by your your wife and family!  Trust me, marriage does not get worse over time, it gets better.  Give it a try!

I love you Krista!  Happy Anniversary!  You complete me and you complete the young people I coach.
Love your husband,

Winton Woods Wrestling!: The mission of the Winton Woods Wrestling program is to train warrior boys into champsionship wrestlers and championship men!

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